Condolences to Eric Pagdanganan's family.

My mom and I went to grocery last Sunday and while we're at it, we also decided to visit Kuya Eric in the hospital and buy something for him. I would want to buy him fruits but my mother insists to buy a cracker instead since his digestive system is not receptive due to liver cancer. In the hospital, we headed to the 3rd floor. We saw some of his relatives outside and they invited us to go in. Upon entering the room, his wife, daughter and his youngest brother were standing beside his bed crying. I was dumbfounded as I know what is already happening. I saw kuya eric already had difficulty breathing. My mom began to cry also, me still confused, I can't even cry. The first thing I did is pray. I can’t accept it because weeks ago, he’s just there in front of our house to fetch me up when I’m in the morning shift. I also lend him my books. 5 mins of waiting, the nurse came in to get his blood pressure. The nurse was hesitant to give the result so she asked what was the reading before. His wife responded 50/40 so she nodded and said just the same. Kuya eric is still awake but as I see it, he can no longer recognize everyone around him until his father came inside. His father take a glance on him, could hardly believe also what he is seeing. He goes straight ahead to the restroom. I could hear him coughing, once, twice, very loud. And then when he came back to bed, he spoke to kuya eric in very clear voice:

"Eric, Anak, kilala mo pa ba si Tatay" (Eric, son, do you still recognize me your father?)
"Kung kilala mo pa ako, pisilin mo kamay ko" (If you can still recognize me, pressed my hands tight)
kuya eric pressed his hands...
"Kilala mo pa si tatay anak..." (ok son you still recognize me)
... in a tone like he is talking to a 7 year old son.

This time my tears began to fall. This is the scene I will not forget for the rest of my life. This is the scene that even the best actress or actor who won in OSCARS would not be able to portray the emotions. This is the first time I saw a bedridden man catching up from his breathe in order to live. Immediate families are crying and couldn’t choose whether they would prefer him to live more or let him rest for eternity. I’ve been there already but on a different situation when my father died. My father was not sick and not even in my slightest thought it would enter to me that he will die early. The wound cause by the lost of our love ones are really deep but for sure it will heal in time.

Double-time!

I really can't wait to finish my cisco class and take the exam. Not because I already wanted to have the Cisco certification but I really soooo excited to start reading books again. For the life of me, since I enrolled to cisco class i got to read one book only during my two-weeks vacation. grrr...

Last saturday, I met up with my book buddy - Ems. She also enrolled to review center to prepare for the ECE licensensure exam and since then she stopped reading fiction/novel books. We share the same sentiments that everytime we start reading, we felt guilty for the fact that instead of reviewing, we burned our noses on novels/literature. We'd rather read than eat or take a bath hahaha or I can live without music but not books. I consider it one of my essentials:-D I had my first interest in reading books in HS, from Sweet Valley High to Nancy Drew series. Light reading and entertaining. Oh!I already forgot the first Novel I read after those.

So going back to Ems, since we already missed reading, we stopped by at national bookstore. There are bunch of books on sale but we're not familiar with the authors so we end up taking the buy-one-take-one August issue of Reader's digest. For me, I don't risk on buying books if I'm not familiar with the author or if that is the case I might consider checking the reviews first before buying.

Here are some of my recommended fiction books:

For Novels -

*Sophie Kinsella
(Shopaholic series, Can you keep a secret? - this is so funny)
*Paolo Coehlo
(Alchemist, By the river of Piedra, Veronika decides to die)
*Nicholas Sparks
(Message in a bottle - well-written messages inside the bottle)
*John Grishan
(I only read Street Lawyer, will also try other books)
*Mitch Albom
(Tuesdays with Morrie, 5 people you meet in heaven)
*Neil Gaiman
(I read Coraline only, looking forward to read Stardust)

Self Help - favorite author -

- John Maxwell
- Eric and Leslie Ludy
- Elisabeth Eliot
- Stephen Covey
- Joshua Harris

I also saw Haruki Murakami's book, sounds new to me. I read the reviews and they're ok, his writings focus more on communism. Am also looking forward reading his books one of these days.

:-)

hehe... yes this is not a hate site. I'd like to clarify that! sorry for my recent most, I don't want to make an impression that my site is all about remorse, anger so no need to panic :-D Though, this is something that I'm not sure I might regret in the future hehe.. but no, I have no plans of deleting my recent posts.

Lately, I've been through with some personal issues but I'm okay now. Good thing that I'm surrounded with plenty of good-kind-hearted people (not to mention that they are literally good-looking) that will always brighten up my day. One of these days, I will try to write a good topic again. I'm just having a hard time composing it now.

:-\

Sometimes, I feel like I was born to always understand people and I have no right to be understood. When people don't act rightly, I have to understand that maybe s/he has a problem or not in the mood and it's just so happen that it was me to whom s/he has to bend his/her anger to. But, when there came a point that I have to bend emotionally, it's a totally different reaction I will receive. When I burst out, people will judge me just like that and when I kept silent, that's a different story again but I still choose to be the latter most of the time :-\

I'm getting tired to always be put on blame for every circumstances. And the worst, the people I expect to understand me has made a 180 degree turn :-\